i guess that's it.
i'm so lost and i dont know what i want in life anymore
think i have to not take everything literally
it doesnt work that way
excuses are just excuses with no valid reason
you can call them a hypocrite but it doesnt matter at all and nobody cares.
am i putting up a facade to the world now?
or am i handling it better than last time?
i dont know
its all so familiar.
i dont know why im so slow at believing the obvious
maybe its just because its something i strongly not wanted
maybe its just because of the overly optimistic me telling me the slightest and rarest reasons to not believe so
this is not madagascar and he's not motototo and im not melman
how long will i live like this?
ur experienced
very the hell experienced that i can't stop thinking if there's something wrong with me.
time will heal
yea its gonna heal. someday. somehow. it will.
what if it is the very slight 0.05% that i wanted?
would i still bring myself to accept the minor-est chance of possibility?
i dont know. because all the pointers doesnt say so. its like winning a game out of sheer luck. i wont feel proud. yet there's a small part of me being greedy.
again, as i've mentioned in the previous post, epic fails. i know im not very rational now because i've actually thought of epic-REINCARNATION - a mellowed version of epic. oh well. its up to how i feel at close future to determine if im doing it or not.
i'm 22-3. not too long not too short. the short period of the start of the year was the happiest moments of my life. yet. its your problem if u dont believe me.
i'll forever appreciate that little moment. even if by now you have already totally forgotten about it. even if i no longer carry the same feeling i carry now.
as far as i know. i like you. really. but i guess it has to be 'i liked you'. now. little by little. day by day. until i dont remember to even mention it.
keep out. it's boring.
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