feather fragments # 16: typical rarity

It was the day she was supposed to leave to Australia. It was the very same day that we dated, a contributing factor to the happiest period of my life. Yet. It beats the last days of exams or the first week of a long holiday. Or the days i get to finish a tub of nata de coco in one shot. Or the day i've discovered the song 'Angel' by WT. It was nothing spectacular. It was just a day i never got to live through again.

(boring entry ahead)

Asked Siren to watch a horror movie. She was fine with that. Dinner inclusive. Hurray for the improvement from sorry-i-dont-remember. Had to pick up my car so was slightly late but i gave her the warning. I wondered if her 'take your time' was literal or just a formality.

Played highest hopes during the ride. Black one piece dress. Make up. She heard walking in the air (one of the songs from highest hopes) before from some HongKong children choir that she couldn't really remember the name. We talked about music again, which was very surprising for a tone deaf person like me. Well, all i needed to do is, was, to listen and ask questions that she felt comfortable answering. Ironically, she stereotyped mainland chineses' materialism. The girls only, right?

Then we moved on to mainstream music industry. Now i was the storyteller but most of what i said were supported with my own viewpoints. Reached Isarabi. Parked and walked and molested her shoulder for awhile again. Hehe.

Siren hates black seeds on pizzas. She called it olive. And that only. I wonder what that is. Then i offered her some salmon and she didn't want it. Made me think that there would be more food that she disliked, that she wouldnt tell me. She didnt finish her japanese pancake pizza but she could finish the beef which had a larger portion on Valentines'. The reason is that she eats what she likes more, she stated.

I liked the fact that we talked till we were too late for the movie. Yes, my intention was to talk to her more than watching the movie. Watching a movie was just an excuse. I hoped she felt the same because i sensed that she did, but i could be mistaken. However luckily, the flow of the our conversation kept going. Anyhow, i suggested a change of destination to Queensbay but we couldn't make it in time for the one airing in Gurney. Neither of us seemed disappointed though to travel somewhere further or maybe i was bad at reading minds.

We arrived at Queensbay to the same result. As a last resort, I tried my luck on prangin. She agreed.

On the way there, we told each other of our characteristics. She told me she could actually do better than what she did now(then) in terms of singing but she was always too lazy to fully maximize her potential, as said by her music teachers. Meanwhile, i told her about my ability to apply relatively a lot of knowledge in a short time but my inability to be moderately accurate or precise, as proven by the way i handle school work or play games. We then spoke of our circle of friends that we did not mutually know. Siren complimented herself for being a patient listener to this ex-roommate of her, V, who was this very antisocial girl and bitches nonstop about her relationship problems with someone V was not meant to be with. Sigh, so similar to me.

Next we traded silly pasts about ourselves when we were young. I revealed to her that i used to have this snap of synapse and thought the dustbin was the a toilet bowl and almost peed into it. And that the first time i ate an egg tart i devoured it along with paper because my stupidity never considered it inedible. In exchange, she told me that she used to have this performance that her whole group had made little efforts on rehearsing. Subsequently it was a disaster; all of the movements were out of sync and the bass singer went out of key so badly she couldn't tolerate it that she laughed on the mic while singing her part and the crowd could hear that. Strangely the crowd unanimously cheered at them and that act embarassed her further.

Arrived at prangin at around 1030. Movie was as late as 1130. I had to wake up early to work tomorrow but i was irrational enough to think watching it was a good idea. Well, it IS still a good idea, looking back from now. However, prangin at that time was so deserted it was kind of scary to bring a girl around in there. People were very scarce and most of them looked like punkish youngsters. Nevertheless it didnt stopped us from continue talking. Somehow she told me something really private. (i skipped some topics we talked about to not give out clues about it) Or it was only i who thought so.

***censored***

I sensed her change in tone. Slightly emotional. My heart was cursing myself for bringing her into such a state but my mind turned so irrational that i convinced myself to feel honoured about her confiding in me. It that werent enough, these thoughts turned into spoken words.

'you know, i dont really know why am i telling you this, but you are the first person to hear that from me. ** **** * **** ****'
'hmm i dont really know how to comment about it. but thanks for telling me. i actually feel honoured.'

If liking Siren was a disease that starts from the heart, it had already spreaded to my brain and conditioned it fatal. My judgment and considerations had being clouded by happy poison and i am addicted to it. It was only a first puff, but it was enough to corrupt my weak mind to submit myself vulnerably to her. The rope to climb to the top was getting a bit more visible and my senses claimed that it was more genuine than it was a few days ago.

Oh and how could i not forget popcorns. To reassure my opinion on her insatiable hunger towards popcorns, i brought some again and my hypothesis was proven correct. Maybe she wasn't full from not finishing the japanese pizza just now, but seeing her consuming the nutrionless tidbits relentlessly further drugged me.

Thanks to the director the movie sucked it felt so long that i could slowly embrace the moment with her. I actually laughed at most of the supposingly 'scary' parts. She seemed to concentrate on the show, commenting and exclaiming from the happenings and drama of the show. One drawback is that she asked a number of questions and liked to deduce things that was going to happen during the show.

Movie ended and it was almost two. I dropped her home and tried to influence her with some of the music i listen to by giving her a pendrive with songs that i thought she might like (dont worry i didnt put any scream-rap-hardcore crap in it), Nightwish's Highest Hope and Dark Passion Play. In doing so, She responded,

'jiang hao mieh? bu yong la. ni mai zhen pan de ni hao hao zhi ji ting la' (so good mieh? no need la. listen to it urself la since u bought original.)
'mei you hao ar. hiao ju you. (not good. just horny.- some language wordplay involved so i didnt translate it, and i'm going to translate from now onwards.) all the songs i've actually downloaded for these two albums.'
'you spent money buying these. better you keep it.'
'i spent money just to help to the record sales of the band. Moreover i wanted to give you something so that you can remember me.'

She looked at me. Stared. Without blinking. Or it was dark and i was tired so i didnt notice properly. But i interpreted it as an incoming feeling of euphoria.

'then i really take d ha? no regrets?'
'i would regret if you didn't take.'
'heh. thanks. good night and sweet dreams.' (ok i dont remember this line, i made it up)

(Long wave goodbyes.)

I drove home singing songs of joy to myself horribly but i didnt care because everything seemed like a good idea back then. If there were ghosts haunting my car, they would hoped that they lost their ability to hear when they were alive.

tbc..