08-the reason.mp3

reloaded WoW, life's gonna suck..
one week of holidays left, life sucks..
she's not here for the week, but then it seems like there's no difference if she's here or there because she is never 'here'..
maybe thats a good thing..
maybe that made me have no feeling to WoW..
i hope WoW drugs me..
but i know what i want..
and i know what i can want and what i can't want..
anything wrong with me?
well something, many things are definitely wrong with me..
i'm lethargic
i'm sensitive
i'm paranoid
i'm cynical
i'm unable
i'm arrogant
i'm hard to talk to
maybe that's why things turned out this way..
i'm speechless because it makes sense
dont feel so down, i tell myself
maybe i'm good at something...
hmm...
let's see...
playing enigma(dota hero)?
ok that's why things turned out this way..

Seven days left..
felt like i've done nothing
in fact i've done nothing
Hmmm should i go KL to visit my friends..
but everytime i think of this
i wonder if its to find my friends or to find her
well dont think she's gonna meet up with me
but i miss my friends..
i reloaded WoW, should i stay and play?
or should i go stay in my friends' place where i accidentally scolded their mum?
or should i go interupt those who are having their finals?
or is it just that i want to go is just to find topics to talk about, with her?
"Oh, i went KL too, where'd ya go? "
sweat..
lame..
i know you think so too..
i mean anyone who's reading this..
well, another reason things turn out this way..

smile smile
this is not the end of everything

SHKO2SE - Identity pt 2.mp3

here again... boring day...
thinking the same thing over and over again..
wonder what should i feel after doing that..
wonder if it should be regretable or something i should be proud of..
what's there to regret when there's nothing much actually done?
what's there to be proud of when the results obtained is a negative one?
should i regret, because i know?
should i be proud of myself, since i've break away from my cowardice?
questions, questions, questions..
answers, self-generated, assumptions..
think i've lost my rationality, yet i dont think im crazy..
continuously telling myself not to think so much yet doing it so much..
i know, i should occupy my mind with something, but what?
haha, this...

well, it isnt really helping, but in a way it does..
i'm sensitive.. hypersensitive.. one of my greatest flaws..
hate it as it makes me suspect unpleasant things..
like it as it makes me more cautious..
yet i dont think i'm cautious in all the things i've done..
hate it too, because she hates it..
what can i do to it, its me..
my personality, part of my identity..
should i change it, and lose my identity?
its a change for the better, so why not?
she said..
can it be done so soon?
doubt so..
would i wanna do it?
doubt so, too..

but i hope so=)

Kevin O2SE - Red Sign.mp3

hearing this song when creating this blog..
hence this title since there's nothing in my mind for a nice title.
weird reason huh?
like the song, so who cares..
thinking not really rationally now..
thinking too much now..
wonder how noisy would it be if anyone were to read my mind..
Blah
in no position to complain
done almost nothing
no such thing as free lunch in this world
wouldnt wanna take free lunches too
or is it that i cant afford lunch so out of pride i say that?
i dont know..
would i wanna know?
so many thoughts flowing into my mind..
not many letters come out though
thinking it would be sensitive..

who's gonna read it anyway
should i just spit everything out here?
ironically i think more than i type
how to stop myself from thinking so much?
HELP
hear me
help me
somehow i realise
only me can help myself
Sigh..
ok anyone reading these would think im nuts
oh well dont think anyone would
omg im thinking too much again
STOP




red sign..means stop