keep out. it's boring.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Indecisive - Empty Decorations (Lagu Kopitiam).mp3

here i go again with repetitive stuff
her her her and her again

she has lots of thoughts going about in her mind
wonder why she becomes blank when facing me
seems like im still a total stranger
im too risky to be told anything?
or it is just uncomfortable?
or she did tell me some already? just that i'm not satisfied while i should be
i wanna know more about her
nevertheless the more i know the more that i know i don't know

she seems traumatised by her past
i dont wanna do that, i dont wanna hurt her
...
i'm can't control her feelings.. so i can't possibly hurt her right?
ironically
i hope that i can control her feelings which would mean the possiblity of doing damage
and i know
i'm new to this
i'm not sure about me being completely harmless to her
if i had the chance..
as if i would..
i would like to try
yet i know its reasonable that she doesnt want to take this risk
and again
...
why risk something that's undesired?
...
dont associate at all?
it's still harmful, in a way..

she seems to embrace freedom..
so what i wish to do would take her freedom away?
i'm told that i give the impression that i would
i feel like changing, but it's not something that can be done overnight
i do admit, that i would take it away if it's the me several years ago..
things happen, but do i change?
i don't know
i don't wanna lie to people so that i'm closer to getting what i want
...
do i embrace freedom though?
i often obey what people wants, or at least that's what i think
does that make me do not understand freedom?
does it make me do not understand her?
i should respect her
and what she wants
and whatever that makes her happy
instead of wanting what i desire for myself
but it's normal to do things that you want to do
or like what you like
which makes me..
indecivise

used to like this, used to like that
would this be another 'used to'?
i'm deducting marks for myself for being so indecivise
but hope that she doesnt deduct so many.. hehe =)

1 comment:

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