feather fragments # 1: re-know

i never thought this day would come.

i'm supposed to meet him, on that particular night, for a movie, but my main motive is more like to catch up with each other. Somehow it feels a little weird because we werent exceptionally close, we don't meet up one on one like that since we parted ways after our form six. But, it's still a good opportunity to socialize. So, yeah, why not? what the heck.

A few moments before the meeting time, i was sms-ed, 'she will be joining us'. Wow, if i were to travel back to the past and informed the twelve-year-old-me that this day will come, i'll be so happy i'll still be smiling even if it's the end of the world. But no, feeling that was too immature. That 12-year-old-me bluntly admired her for the looks and nothing else. Never talked. Just stalked. I like the song 'Creep' from Radiohead. Coming back to present reality, it'd be awkward. I barely know her and if i show up i might be cockblocking or being a lamp post. So i replied his sms to express my fear of awkward situations.

Then i recalled all out of sudden. and i firmly told myself that was just something that almost happened to everyone else when they were my age. so i wouldnt bother. Nevertheless the curiousity of how your childhood sweetheart has turned into in the future is there. Yes, im a pervert but if it's some girl i don't know but i know that she is pretty and the situation is totally similar with the subjects changed, i wouldn't have showed up. But it's her. So i did show up. They say curiosity kills the cat. I see what they mean.

I'm assured that she's friendly as he replied me so it'll be fine. Another friend will be joining us too later and so it will be less uncomfortable. (we all know each other). He offered to drive. Skip the unnecessary boring details, we reached her house. How do i describe how i feel seeing her again after so long? Nostalgic? No, not really. She was slightly plumber. I remembered I commented on that. Not too plumb though, but she used to hit A-list popularity list. Ok, i'm exaggerating here, but if you know her you'd know what i mean. Because of my high-expectation-perception of her, would've thought she wore something more according to her popularity. But no, she just wore something casual. Grey top with patterns of yellow and red sketch of a female face, dark blue jeans, and slippers. Presentable though. My original thought of myself being too ambitious has lowered down by 0.005%. And i have to remind myself that im 22, not 12, which i'm so well aware of at that time.

She came to the car, told him/us to wait for a moment cause she's occupied with something in her house. There's when i commented, with an 'aiyo'. Then when she was in, they talked. We weren't properly re-introduced ourselves since we know each other's existence. Sad thing is she didnt remembered i used to be in the same primary school as her. But i acted as if i don't know her. Yeah, officially i did not know her at that time. I dont think that i'm supposed to act as if i know her.

So we settled to dine at a coffee house nearby her house. Him fried chicken, her popiah, me CKT. I said something that mentioned the word 'fat' when she ordered her food and came back from the stall. I always wondered if she were to thought if it was pointed at her. We ate, they talked, i listened, tried to participate, failed, but not totally miserably. I remember asking what does she actually study regarding vocal and i get the answer back 'vocal lo'. Aw.

We talked slightly more but still relatively less compared to what we did in the future. I'm meaning during the journey from the goodall to queensbay. Met dog, talked about the primary school reunion thing, used that as an excuse to get her phone number. worked. i hate myself.

after the movie, on our way back, it was a different her. she talked more. first we agreed to each other that he looks like harry potter. then i was complimented physically. (ok im not suppose to take this for granted , she usually does that to random people but it's our first day knowning/reknowing each other) next we stared at each other for a brief moment after her comment on the location of Times Square. and laughed. Then we nicknamed accidents as dogs.
finally she talked about security/safety/crime rate. bye.

In our separation to our own homes after that night he asked me about her. I expressed slight interest. Knowing she wouldnt be here long. Knowing it would be that worth it because even if it works it'll be hard. Knowing i must not give too much. Not knowing i'm actually cockblocking. Not knowing that i'll actually lose all my rationality and became the me now, today, on may 2009. Not knowing if i can talk as much as i can really give.

tbc...