feather fragments # 4: goodnightnsweetdreams part 1

I know. Anyone can talk to anyone on msn for a few hours. Nothing to be particularly proud of. But judging from how unfruitful i am, i honestly felt happy. It's like the feeling when a beggar received ten bucks from a generous stranger. Or more like the feeling of seeing a mirage of an oasis after long hours stranded in a desert. Of course, these situations are overly exaggerating, but my situation is like this: me ask-one-question, siren 1-word-reply; me give-one-statement, no reply; me give-one-opinion, no reply; me ask-her-out, ignored. So tell me if the examples are not suitable, i'll correct them.

It was the day before new year's eve. Or more precisely, the wee hours of new year's eve. 12.00AM. We were both online. I initiated a conversation. She replied with her usual 'hihi'. Explains every 'hihi' i use now. Scold me if you want to. Then for the next one hour, she didnt reply much either. She was watching some drama. Somehow somebody in my MSN list occupied me from sleeping till two something. Whoever you are which i dont remember, i hereby sincerely thank you. Because she replied me after that. A lot more than she usually do. This is the 2-3 hours i was talking about the previous entry.

This kind of conversation was a first time for me. I'm talking to a singer about my singing!! I've known by my friends that i 'attempt' (yes i hereby humble-ly clarify, ATTEMPT) to be a rockstar wannabe and growl. Everyone is annoyed by it, i know. Maybe Siren too, i don't know, but she actually inquired me about it. Although none of my songs are ear-friendly, i can actually rap/scream/growl a number of songs and you can almost guessed that she asked something like 'did u intentionally sing like this to make everyone laugh or do u really sing like that?'. In fact, she did. I answered, a little bit of both. She replied, not bad (i doubt her honesty about this) haha, that's your style. However, to her, being a vocalist, the way i sing is a big no-no. She told me it would damage my throat badly. Might be one day i might not be able to voice properly. Since then, this line, 'have you heard the change in my talking voice after i did that' has become one of my favourite quotations.

After that she asked me: Why do i make my voice louder when i rap? How do you actually managed to remember so many songs? Is the song actually sung that way? Does it hurt too much if you rap? Don't rap too much kay perserve your voice to talk to your kids. (ok the perserve part i made it up myself). I remember telling her i lost my ability to do falsetto notes trying to growl. (everyone can make falsetto notes, but not everyone can control it well to make it sound nice)

Some time in between, i thought to myself, all my efforts of learning songs and destroying them in many ways are not in vain. What a blessing in disguse. Haha.

Also, she commented on how straight i was to ask CloudK the why-come-here-but-didnt-sing question. She then said i was straight like a highway to ask that question without thinking much. Yeah. Bad simile. I silently laughed at her English, nevertheless admiring how sensitive she is to these minor details while treating people. Somehow she said she's fine with people being straight to her, but be careful if its other person. Lesson learnt.

It reached 5 when we were still exchanging comments, statements and questions to each other and we (or only me) were enjoying it. (i'm convinced by her longer than usual 'haHAhaHahaha'-s, some capital letters were slotted in between for no reason or for the reason of making a better effect of laughter. ) She told me her normal sleeping time was 3. And she should be sleeping already. Nevertheless we traded good night wishes for around 5 minutes as if repeating the same old 'good nite n sweet dreams' was interesting. Well, it wasn't only just that. But. It. Made. Me. Crave. For. More.

And this was only the first night. There would be three more of these. Of long MSN chats with Siren. And then, if i can recall, till now, no more, none that can match 30/31 December 2008 - 4 January 2009.

tbc..