feather fragments # 25: epic fail

the absence is taking its toll on me. if i don't do anything the burning material would run out and there wouldn't be any fire anymore. perhaps it had already died out. i yearned for it and i knew i had to do something about it. hence, epic was drafted out. I don't know how i got the idea, I knew i had nothing to do when i was working at that moment so i was randomly reading wikipedia articles. I don't know which was the one that inspired me, it was either ChungKingExpress or 2046 or something else which i couldn't remember. I watched neither of the shows. It was merely the synopsis responsible for the idea to craft epic.

I wrote a draft of it that only i could understand. I hereby would like to translate it to be comprehensible. And please note that this project had been abandoned. Due to obvious reasons.

i'm doing this for the sake of building up my confidence.
it shall be an innovative effort. avant-garde.
but made by someone with bad technical skills.
it shall be a recollection of knowledge, interest and memories. that i know. that you know. that i want. that you want. or at least, that i assume you want.
with a combination of bad art and nerd rage, i hereby present to myself, project: epic

This is self explanatory. No encoded meanings. It's your problem if you don't understand.

13 origami flowers.

Remember ff#14? No? Nevermind. Her ex, SourceofEpic gave her paper roses. 12 of them. and then Siren accepted the flowers due to its beauty and SourceofEpic interpreted it as she accepted him whereas she didnt officially did. Slowly she relented and started falling in.

I'm aware of the negative flashback and feedback of hers if i happen to do this. I'm also aware that someone normal wouldn't purposely go and mess with her past and what i was going to do was totally contradicting. But it wasn't just like that. It was something more. Something so much more it could be viewed as another entity, depending on whichever perspective she would look at it.

white papers. red ink or color pencil.

Her favourite color is deep red. (referring ff#6). Hence the red. White papers? So i could produce something meaningful on the papers.

flower shape unknown YET. (will be updated).

Thank you Youtube for being a teacher.



Can someone tell me how to go through the step on the 2.30th minute? I couldn't understand that even from the other similar videos. Oh, and i am not very motivated to do it anymore. I'll thank you though, if you ever tried to motivate me.

flower1- bir kadin cizeceksin
flower2- ditto i guess
flower3- ditto, my hp

bir kadın çizeceksin is my one of my favourite songs from the Turkish band maNga. It simply meant you'll draw a woman in turkish. So the first threes flowers will be colored red with two of her portraits and a picture of us that was taken on my handphone.

Pure red and white was a bitch. The cheap color pencils' red wasn't dark enough to contradict with the white as much as the black that usual 2B pencils can produce. My lousiness in differentiating the magnitude of color caused the shadows drawn above her tongue to look like beards. To get a better idea of color contradiction, i transfered her picture to my computer and two-colored it and tried to draw her according to that. Sketched 3 of the same picture and all of them sucked. Her straight teeth on a slanting angle shadowed by her lips was the hardest part to draw.

flower4- lyrics of the songs u like. (wtf lol)

If Siren could perform these songs she would've like them right? No, i never decided on a fixed amount nor the specific songs. The 'nominees' were:

容祖兒 - 獨照 (based on ff#7&15)
Celine Dion - It's all coming back to me (based on ff#7)
梁靜茹-會呼吸的痛 (based on ff#3)
鄧麗君 - 但願人長久 (uncertain, based on ff#17, will be corrected)

Ok this kinda sucked. All of them are pop songs and she majors classical. Out of my league, huh?

flower5- lyrics of the songs i like n would like u 2 like. (wtf wtf wtf no lol)

This is more of a filler. Why would she appreciate songs that i like? Well they are (or were and she deleted it) still in the pendrive i gave her during ff#16.

Within Temptation - Memories (red, on the flower, signifying how much i treasured the memories with her)
Nightwish -Over the Hills and Far Away? (red, on the flower, signifying our distance, but added a question mark behind because the lyrics talked about robbery and prison)
Epica - Sancta Terra (red, on the flower, but seemed more suitable as the ground, since terra means ground/earth)
Leaves' Eye - Elegy (green, on the leaves, due to band name.)
Within Temptation - The Truth Beneath The Rose/ Mother Earth? (green, on the leaves, due to the titles, these two songs were less considered unless the materials on the leaves run out.)
Flyleaf- All Around Me (green, on the leaves, due to band name.)
Nightwish - Amaranth (no reason, the title meant a kind of flower. More of a filler green.)

flower6- ditto of tenth star

Our only proud duet. I would like to laugh at the very little things we have in common. I almost intended to put Phantom of the Opera in it but it totally sounded like a bad idea. If that paper became too empty i might fill it up with Jason Mraz's I'm Yours and Lucky and rename the title of this flower lyrics of the song we mutually like. This was the original intended title, actually.

flower7- things i want to tell u

Click on link. Wrote those after being questioned by Toby regarding her. Thanks for the push. If written, they'll be translated to chinese.

flower8- rm10

Considered making a rose out of pure Malaysian Ten Ringgit notes. Planned to use 3-4 of them and Five Ringgit notes will be used as leaves as for this stem. Meant to boast about my willingness to spend for her.

flower9- primary school punishment in chinese

This was inspired by a long forgotten insignificant of a past of someone else's. Hadn't decide on what to write till the moment that i gave up. The few words that i thought were Siren'sChineseName, I-really-really-miss-you full page in chinese or a diary style of the same but with different "miss magnitudes" until the day i met her. eg,

26th feb. - SCN, thought of me? Think of you all day~
27th feb. - SCN, ok should think of you less before i go crazy. Wont think of you so much ok?
28th feb. - SCN, wei very hard la, please let me think of you!
1th mar. - hmp, dont want to write your name today! but but... SCN, argh.
2nd mar.- SCN. ok today is a boring day. Think of you averagely.
3rd mar. SCN. average is boring too. Think of you more ok?

I would like to clarify, again, that all that's above are just an example. Dont worry, none were actually written.

flower10- link to this blog?? (most of it will be white, but the posts shall fill the emptiness) (if its ever opened)

Pre-the-day-the-picture-was-uploaded i never thought of writing feather fragments at all. If things went as the original plan all the posts will be me talking to myself but as if i'm talking to her. And all the progress reports about epic. She might want to see what was written on the flowers and would be reluctant to unfold the origamis so this might help.

flower11-coloratura

She told me about her dream ambition to become a coloratura soprano. So i planned to copy this to fill up the next piece of paper. Of course, i wouldn't understand the least bit of words from there.

flower12- (ok im out of ideas)

Thought of putting in a table of content and a brief description to every flower like a restaurant menu. The trick of this flower is that all words will positioned to face outwards so anyone can read it.

flower13- ...

This was written after i saw those pictures.

12 dead flowers. black, dark purple or brown. different from the former 13 in terms of pattern. they shall face down. they shall be distinct, easy to detach.
flower1-12: random physic equations or, notes. no confirmation about the 'correct'ness. made to be thrown away in front of you. stupid. history-thrash. but unique. and meaningful. to me, at least.

So all together 25 flowers will be made. These 12 flowers signifies the 12 flowers SourceofEpic gave her. The physics equation on them are some sort of a parody of the way he got to her. They will be written in a dull and darker color. They will be crumpled and made bad quality to look as if they are withering and about to fall off. They shall face down upon completion.

and they will be thrown away. in front of her. one by one.

and i realised i gave my form6 physics textbook to my friend because his sister needed it. So i went through the trouble to get the textbooks from a junior college-mate of mine but never get to put them to evil use.

tbc..